My life as "just a mom"

A new year....

2012-01-01T23:44:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had ah ha moments in your life. Moments where what someone says or something you read just makes you stop and think and then you realize something you want to change your life or attitude or the way you do something.
January 1st is a day of many people making changes. Changes that usually last a day or two or maybe if you are lucky a whole month. Most of the time peoples "resolutions" don't stick. I have been trying to think of good resolutions, goals, whatever you want to call them that will stick with me this year. The obvious came to mind, eat better, exercise, spend more time with family, less time worrying. How do these stick though?

Today at Mass the priest was talking about making a commitment in your prayer life. He suggested saying the Rosary daily. My first reaction was "yeah right, you don't have kids", then after Mass I had a friend tell me that all the Catholic mothers in Walla Walla should go to the church and get on their knees and pray for their families on a monthly basis. Again, my thought was "What about childcare, being with our husbands, taking care of our families at night." Do I really need to add another thing to my plate?

Then tonight I read a Christmas letter from a friend whose talent for expressing herself is amazing both verbally and artistically. She talked about her family, Christmas traditions, girls growing up and the wonderful memories our children will have for a lifetime that seem so simple and cute now but will be amazing stories and traditions for generations.

My feelings about these were sadness, disappointment and guilt. Not about what my friends are doing but what I'm not doing. I don't pray everyday (except to say Lord give me strength). I don't do activities with my kids, I don't take the time to write Christmas letters to tell people in a creative way about my life. I felt sadness that my time is used up for so many other un-important time wasters. My disappointment was in myself for not putting my spiritual life and family first. And of course the guilt goes along with all that.

That is when I had my ah ha moment. I am not the same person as my friends. I don't have the same life, the same kids, the same family as other people in my life. God gave me the life I have for a reason. He gave me a husband who could make it possible for me to stay home with children. I have wondered so many times why I have the life I do. Why did I not take the path of advertising executive that I thought I wanted. The reason, it was not His path. I followed His path for me. Now I have come to a fork in the road. Do I take His path or my path. His path is filled with kids, family, making memories. My path is a clean and organized house, kids in school as soon as possible and after school playing by themselves without mommy so she can do the dishes, make dinner without "help". Now I'm not saying I can't have both but it's the way I accomplish both that is the path HE wants me to take.

So for my 1st resolution this year is to chose His path. The path that is a clean house, dinner on the table at night but with my kids by my side and His words coming out of my mouth instead of my own.
My 2nd resolution is to do what is right for my family, not trying to take what others do and make it my own.
I am going to go day by day and if I mess up on a day, well. tomorrow is a new day!

Taming the tongue

2011-11-06T15:15:00.000-08:00

"Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble." Proverbs 21:23
"There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." Proverbs 12: 18.
"Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!" Psalm 14:13

All these scripture passages say the same thing, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. How many of you had your mother or father tell you that at some point in your life. I know I had my parents tell me all the time. I tell my children the same. However what do you do when another adult doesn't follow the scripture or what their parents told them. How do you react? Do you "take the high road" as my dad always told me? Or do you lash back with a snip or a quip of your own. How many times do you "take the high" road before you wonder why you are still taking this road that obviously doesn't lead you where you want to go. Most people that know me well don't think I take the high road very often. That is the problem with being silent. No one knows when you've been hurt, offended or crushed by someones comments. Don't get me wrong, I believe taking the high road is the way to go. I encourage my children to do it, even if it crushes me inside because I know what the other person said to them was extremely hurtful or down right rude but I smile and say, "don't worry about it". What am I teaching my children. Am I teaching them not to stand up for themselves or am I teaching them a valuable lesson about life, that even though people can be hurtful, you will survive and thrive by being the nice one. At what point do you stand up and express your feelings to the person who crushed you. Would it even matter? Maybe that person believes he/she didn't do anything wrong and therefore has no reason to apologize. Am I overreacting? How do you call someone on something when you know down to the depths of your soul it won't matter or worse yet, you will cause them pain that can be avoided by taking the high road.
It's usually always good to take the high road, according to society, the Bible and decent folks everywhere. Just remember this, taking the high road will eventually get you where you want to be. With the one who will take care of you, protect you from pain and love you unconditionally.
(I just have to keep telling myself that to believe it right! )

Motherhood as a vocation

2011-10-05T16:37:00.000-07:00

Have you ever asked your child or someones child what they want to be when they grow up? Depending on their age and gender you could get anything from a superhero to batman to a princess to a doctor, teacher etc. Some little girls say mommies because they see their mommy playing dress up or play dough or painting. They don't "see" the laundry, dishes, sweeping, diapers etc.. If they did see and truly understand that, they wouldn't say they want to be a mommy. I love the innocence of children. They can only see the fun in all the jobs people have. Erik goes to Phil's work and doesn't see piles of papers that are a million different projects, or the schedule with all the boring meetings. He sees the key that locks the drawer or the hard hat that is 4x too big for him.

Lately I have had a number of people say to me that motherhood is a vocation. I always looked at the word of vocation as a job. Growing up I didn't think being a mom was a job. You don't leave the house (unless your are running an errand), you don't dress up, and most importantly you don't have a paycheck with $$ that is. I remember Phil asking me "are you sure you want to have a baby now, it's not all giggles and cooing" And of course not knowing ANYTHING, I said yes I do.
Don't get me wrong, I love being a mom. When I hear my kids giggle or chase each other or tell me they love me is the best feeling in the world. However it is a job! The difference between a job and a vocation is simply this: a vocation is something you are meant to do, a job is something that you do to pay the bills. A vocation has purpose on a much deeper level. At least that is how I see it.
Being a mother you are suppose to give yourself to your children completely, being a wife you are suppose to give yourself to your husband completely. Where does that leave you as a women?
I honestly believe I have the best life a person could ask for. I have a wonderful husband who is ALWAYS there for me without question. I have three healthy kids, We have an income that provides for us what we need and then some. However, I still struggle. Yeah yeah, everyone struggles, especially stay at home moms I'm told. Is that a reason or just an excuse for why I'm feeling the way I am and acting out to my children and husband. Granted this has been a tough year for my family (with my dad's stroke and all). Again is that a reason or an excuse. I feel like I'm rambling on so back to my point of motherhood as a vocation. I may not enjoy my daily tasks of my job but I know that I am very lucky with my vocation as a mother.

Here are some things that my children have done lately that brought joy to my heart:

Erik is reading level one books. Even books that we've never read to him before he is figuring them out on his own.

Sarah's expressions have been so entertaining lately it's hard to discipline her when she makes them (and she knows it)

Caleb is my baby and when he smiles at me, all my frustrations just melt away.

and now that, that's said I am going to return to the screaming and yelling of my children.. Haha, the joys of motherhood.

ups and downs

2011-06-09T13:34:00.000-07:00

My mom told me once, "when you're a mom, the days are long but the years are short". She told me this when my oldest was 2 and he was in the middle of "the terrible twos". Now five years later that little 2 year old is now 7 and has been joined by two more little ones. I look around and it appears that so many other peoples children are fun loving, happy go lucky, extra smart and love to play. I look at my children who are screaming, fighting and asking to watch yet another TV show on a day where the sun is shining and it's 75 degrees outside. I do remember being a TV kid but I also remember loving to go outside in the summer. I know in my head, everyones children act the same as mine. I just wonder how much of their negative attitude is their age, the time of year, or is it more related to my attitude. Lately I've been debbie downer. Everything I look at is ugly, broken or needing to be repaired including myself. I try to use logic to cheer me up and make me realize my life isn't so bad but then the emotions come rolling back in and I just want to give up and crawl back in bed. I can explain my actions away with a number of things, but that is just an excuse. How does one look at the glass as half full instead of half empty?

4 month anniversary

2011-05-08T19:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the 4 months to the day that my dad had his stroke. In the beginning none of us knew how long they would be in Florida. I certainly didn't think it would be 4 months and yet they are still there and will be for months to come unless we raise money to bring them home. I've gone months without seeing my parents (probably not 4 but months nonetheless). It never occurred to me that 4 months was a long time without seeing ones parents. I talked to them on the phone, especially my dad. Maybe that is why it seems so weird. Yesterday was the first time I had a conversation with my dad where he could contribute back to the conversation. It was amazing. So many times in the past I just rolled my eyes when he talked because that is all he did, gab gab gab. "They" say you don't know what you had until it's gone. Hearing my dad say the words "I love you too" was the most amazing sounds I've ever heard. He had a hard time saying it when he was healthy, let alone after a major trauma to his brain.
All this being said, we as a family are trying to get him back to the Northwest so he can be with his family and friends. So far insurance won't pay to transfer him because he is in a perfectly good facility. I understand that from a business perspective. However he needs his family, his children, his grandchildren. If you would like to contribute to our fund to bring my parents back from Florida where they have been for 4 months. Please click on the paypal button to the left. With all my heart, thank you! Thank you for prayers, thank you for your time in reading this blog and thank you for your donation. You can also visit www.rickgehring.com to read the story of what happened.

Spring brings life and projects.....

2011-04-09T22:56:00.000-07:00

When you own a house there is always something to do. You never get bored. We knew this going into buying a house (7 years ago) because if we wanted to get anything bigger than a 1000 sq.ft. house, it would have to be a fixer-upper.Well as most of you know, we bought the ultimate fixer-upper. In the past 7 years we have re-done every floor, wall and ceiling in this house. You would think after 7 years of projects and living with a huge amount of sawdust and dirt IN my house, I would be done, ready to take a break from projects. However every Spring I get the itching to do another major project. I get all excited and start planning it in my head and think OK, let's do it. Unfortunately my husband is not on the same excited page I am. He is the smart one. He can see into the future of what the project will really entail and how much time and work because inevitably I will have to attend to the children while he finishes the latest project. Don't get me wrong, I've done my fair share of work on this fixer-upper. Most of that was done when I have one infant who sat in a swing all day. Now I have three children who all move and scream and fight and whine. They also play sibling rivalry is quite strong in this house.

Part of me does the comparing game. I look at what others have at their house or their yard and think why can't I do that? Why can't we have that? So I jump into planner mode. I'm a GREAT planner. I can plan any project down to every detail. It's the executing that slows me down and discourages me. I want it done RIGHT NOW!! I want to be Samatha on Bewitched and wiggle my nose and have it look perfect.

That is when my husband of 10+ years reins me in and brings me that reality check I need. I can plan all I want but I have to consider such things in my plans as weather (if it's an outside project), financing (yes, it always cost money, I can't seem to want anything that is free) and of course labor (i.e. my husband). I have to consider all those steps instead of skipping over them with the idea that all that will appear out of thin air and will work perfectly.

So as of now, I'm at a place where I have to slow down and be realistic. Thankfully God has given me the most patient husband on earth I believe.

Change of life....

2011-02-19T08:32:00.000-08:00

No I'm not going through what most people think of as "the change" but in the past couple weeks I have changed. Monday February 7th 8:30am my life changed. I got one those phone calls nobody wants to get. My parents were on vacation and my mom called with the news that my dad had a stroke. They were enjoying sunny south Florida and within moments of waking up and getting ready for the day, his whole life changed. Within a span of 10 minutes he was getting ready for the day to being transported to a trauma stroke center.
I'm not going to go through the whole story of what followed but suffice to say my dad is in ICU doing much better than he started 2 weeks ago.
How has this affected me? One would think I would come back and appreciate my family more and start exercising more and being less lazy, but unfortunately I am not there yet. What will it take for me. I saw my dad laying in the hospital bed hooked up to tubes and an ventilator.
So how have I changed, mentally. I remind myself every day that life is short and we need to appreciate what we have in each other. I am slowly getting to the point of eating better, exercising more and living life to the fullest. I am still me, I still get annoyed that the floor is dirty EVERYDAY. I still get frustrated with my kids and husband, however I find myself stopping and reminding myself that my parents would give anything to only have to deal with a dirty floor and whiny kids. I have the use of every part of my body fully.
My sister and I talked about how we are part of the sandwich generation. We are taking care of our small children and our parents. I remember my mom talking about that when she was in that position. Thankfully I have two other siblings to help with this task.
I'm learning to LIG it. LET IT GO! Let the crumbs sit there for a day, let the laundry sit in a basket needing to be folded for a day or two or five in order to spend time playing with legos or coloring or sculpting with play dough.
Finding the balance between getting tasks done that need to be done (eventually) to spending quality time with family is the challenge I have now. I'm trying new approaches and we'll see how they pan out. I'll keep you posted on that! For now, its time to do one of those duel tasks, spending time with kids and doing a job, change a diaper!!

Happy New Year~ Goals for 2011~

2011-01-17T00:05:00.000-08:00

It occurred to me tonight while I was catching up on a friends blog that I haven't written on mine in awhile so here goes...
It's a new year and with that are so many changes. People have these grandiose plans to loose weight, clean and organize every nook and cranny in their house and make this year better than last year. Not that doing those are not lofty goals and good for you, but what happens by February 15th is people get depressed. They can't do it. They have failed. What makes us want to set these "resolutions" every year only to fail at them so soon.
This year I vow not to have any resolutions. I have ideas of what I want my year to look like and how I want my body to look, my house to look, my children to act. But no! No resolutions. I'm going to set small goals for myself and not worry about the other things that will get done later. I have 365 days to get those done.
Now that being said, I can focus on my real desire. To transform my mind. I was told once that in a job interview, they send someone out to your car to see what it looks like on the inside and outside. If you car is clean and picked up that shows something about you. If it's dirty and you have chicken nuggets left over from last month laying on the floor with a change of clothes wadded up in the back seat, that says something about you. Does that mean if you have a messy house, you have a messy head. A messy relationship with others, with yourself, with God. If you have an immaculate house and not a spec of dust or dirt to be found, you have a great relationship with others, yourself and God. I believe the opposite. If your house is messy, maybe that is because you are focusing on the relationships in your life and not on how well your house looks. Not that I don't want a clean house but if my house is clean and I have no one to share it with because I've spent too much time working on my house and not my relationships then I have nothing. If I'm too busy making sure the Christmas decorations are in a perfect row of bins with typed labels on them but have no relationship with my children, friends, or God I have nothing.
This will be the year of taking care of people, not things. Yes I do have to take care of things but not at the expense of people. The most important people are myself, my family and my friends in that order.
Goals for 2011:
1) Turn off the static in my brain and listen to what God wants me to do and where to go and who to be with!
2) Appreciate the people in my life who bring me joy, love and peace. Say good-bye to the people in my life who bring me down, make me cry and that I can't be myself with.
3) Bring new activities into my family life that we can enjoy together
4) Make my house peaceful, calm and happy
5) Be honest with friends in a loving way, give more than I receive and be there!

Even though there are only 5, I know they are biggies and I hope to reach them all. We'll reminisce in January 2012!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T (and lack there of)

2010-11-04T20:32:00.000-07:00

When someone mentions something once, you may let it go in one ear and out the other. When a different person mentions the same issue, you think hmmm. When other people are having that same issue with someone completely different, you start to think maybe it's not JUST me.
In the past few weeks, I have had multiple conversations with people about varying levels of respect. Some call in following the rules, others call it bullying, and some call it just being unaware of the impact your words have on others. Whatever you choose to name it, it boils down to lack of respect. Whether you are a six year old on the playground making a bad choice of friends, making a joke that really truly hurt the other person or laughing and giggling while someone is giving a heart wrenching story, you are showing a lack of respect to the others around you.
It got me thinking about myself and how I often show disrespect to the people around me, to their face or worse, behind their back. As women (for some odd reason) we seemed to turn 13 in junior high and just STAY there. We grew chronologically but not emotionally. When we are threatened we revert back to that junior high girl that is a nit picking gossip queen bee attitude that says I'm better than so and so, I make better choices. When in reality you are making the same bad choices just in different ways.
Now my question is, how do we stop the cycle in our own family... have all boys.That isn't the answer. Is it to show our children (boy or girl) how to respect the people around them. We need to do more than tell them, we need to SHOW them, by doing that same gesture ourselves.
The big question then is, how do we do that. Did our parents have the same problem and were unaware of how to solve it or were they unaware at the whole notion of this. I doubt it. My parents (I believe) taught me how to respect others, yet I've fallen into the same trap that we all do. Viewing ourselves as better than others, or expecting others to take care of us. We are adults, we feed our children, we keep our houses and somewhere in all that, we manage to have a life outside that with other women. Yet we don't value any of that. How can you value you something you take advantage of and talk bad about.
Don't get me wrong, I know there is a time and place for venting and there should be, but come on.. (as my sister the counselor of elementary kids would say) can we just please LIG-it! LET IT GO! I tell my kids all the time to move on and not dwell on it. So WHY CAN'T I DO IT!!!
Are my small children more capable of LIG-ing it then I am. Why is that? I have more experience and therefor have more knowledge or is it because I've been burned and they haven't (at least not in their memory). Our children don't see what we see, they don't feel what we feel. They instead see and feel and innocent, pleasing Godly world. So let's take a page from our children's handbook and LIG-it! (I most definitely will need help with this though)

Seasons change

2010-09-09T23:07:00.000-07:00

In talking with my sister last night, she brought up a topic that really made me think. We have different seasons in our lives and each season brings new challenges and new joys. As children we worried about the bug crawling across the floor or our sister leaving us out of her game. As young adults (collage age) we worried about a test grade or why we didn't get invited to the party. As adults we worry about finances and our children becoming who we want them to become. Time is also an issue as we go through the seasons of life. As a child, it seems like there isn't enough time because we have to take naps and go to bed early. As young adults we don't have enough time to study and have fun, as adults we don't have enough time because of a number of things, our children being the biggest.
It got me thinking that we need to take time in each season to take care of ourselves and cherish ourselves so we can enjoy the season we are in. My mom told me once "the days are long but the years are short". She was referring to child rearing. As a mother of young children I wake up in the morning with my mind racing already of what needs to be done. I go go go all day even if I don't leave the house. At the end of the day my mind is racing still so I don't sleep. (Hence, me writing on my blog at 11:15pm). I used to wonder if anyone reads this besides my sister in law because she tells me she does. I guess i still wonder who reads it but really what I want to know is what you think about what I write.

I had a friend tell me recently that I was high strung. First of all, she is right. I am high strung. I fully admit it. I also know deep down in my heart, she meant nothing harmful by it at all. However it got me thinking what kind of person do others perceive me to be. No one ever tells you that your annoying or obnoxious for obvious reasons. Now I'm not saying that I think I'm either one but do you ever wonder what people really think of you? Do you care? In our society, women often care about this and men don't (at least that is what they tell me).

Back to my point...
Seasons.... Now that the seasons are changing into Fall, which i am thrilled about, I think I will re-evaluate the season I'm in. My child raising years. My mom told me once that not to worry about the dishwasher or the floor or the toilet but just to play with my kids. i am really going to try to do that more. I want my kids to have memories of their first season of life to be joyful and not challenging. I want to be what God wants me to be.... a good women, a good mother, a good wife, a good friend, a good person.

Summer Vacation

2010-06-26T20:42:00.000-07:00

Growing up, we dreamed of summer vacation. "School's out for summer" we would shout around the halls of the school. Now, most parents dread summer vacation. 24/7 kids at home while they are at work. My parents were just as excited if not more for summer vacation. They were teachers. I was a little worried about summer vacation. I had grown accustomed to only have 2 little ones at home. My two quiet, calm little ones. Joining the group was big brother Erik. Full of energy, full of vinegar, full of wildness. Phil's answer was to "kick him outside". That would have been great except it rained for the first 2 weeks of summer vacation. VERY un-walla walla weather. Now it's been almost a month of summer vacation and we are getting sunshine (finally) and I have re-accumulated to having 3 at home full time. We have actually been quite busy. I took the 3 kids to Sandpoint for the 1st week so Phil could do some much needed overtime. It was nice but 3 kids in the car by myself wasn't so nice. Actually only one (Sarah) was the problem. I don't think I will be traveling with kids (without help) for awhile again. Sarah has never been a good traveler and I don't know why I thought she would start now. Caleb on the other had, did fantastic. Slept the entire way!
We have also done VBS! Vacation Bible school was fun, exhausting and worthwhile for all involved. Sarah & Caleb were doted on in the nursery, Erik was taught about his faith and played games with the 1st graders and I helped teach the 3rd-5th graders. I learned about some things about my faith that I didn't know. Amazing how God works!
Now I look toward the rest of summer and am excited. So many more adventures with the kids and family as a whole!
I will try to stay more updated with my posts. I figured most reading this blog know what is going on in my life anyway due to being family, friends and facebook! Ha ha, the 3 F's in my life!

Out numbered

2010-03-09T19:56:00.000-08:00

Ok, it's been 1 month since Caleb Robert joined our family. I can't believe it's already been a month. Where did the time go? I was lucky enough to have my parents here for two weeks helping with Sarah and Erik and letting me get sleep. Now, 4 weeks after our little boy joined us, we are on our own and getting no sleep. Caleb doesn't sleep during the night and the others don't sleep during the day so that leaves me with no time for naps, not that I want to take them because then I can't seem to fall asleep at night for the short bursts that Caleb does sleep. I have discovered I can't eat dairy, at least I think that is what it is. I hope after a few more days he will start to get better. It hasn't even been a week and it could take as long as a month to get out of my system. Well duty calls. This was short and sweet but because of dairy (hopefully that is the reason) Caleb is yet again calling me.

all in DUE time.....

2010-02-08T12:52:00.000-08:00

They say being patient is a virtue. I don't know who "They" are, but they are right, it's a virtue. A virtue I don't have. Anyone who knows me, knows I'm not patient. I don't like surprises, I can't keep a secret (about myself that is) and I don't like waiting. When I want something done, I want it done NOW! In the grand scheme of things, 9 months is not a very long time to wait for a baby. I mean come on, 9 months to go from a tiny little egg and sperm to a full fledged human being. That is a miracle, an amazing transformation. It's not until the end when we start getting impatient, at least I do. I haven't even reached my due date (3 days left) and I'm already obsessing on when I will go into labor. I've done this twice before and yet am a little worried about the birth. I am not worried that something will go wrong or that the baby will have special needs, I am worried about myself. Can I birth a baby? Will I stay relaxed? Seriously, what is wrong with me, I've done this TWICE without any medication. What am I worried about. Maybe it's knowing what's coming. Maybe not knowing is better than knowing. With this pregnancy, it's been a world wind. Being busy with two other kids (one in school and the other in diapers still) has kept me preoccupied so I haven't had to think about it. There were times I forgot I was pregnant until I looked in the mirror. I remember when I was pregnant with Sarah, I was freaked. I thought how am I going to handle two kids. Now I'm freaked about three kids. I was able to handle two kids just fine and will be able to handle three. Why am I freaked out. As I write this, I realize I'm all over the board with my thoughts. It's called being 9 months pregnant. My body isn't my own, why should my mind be my own. I get annoyed that people only see a pregnant women in front of them. "how are you doing? Are you ready? What do the kids think?" Is that all people think about when they see me? They don't think about Natalie, they think about pregnant mom. I know they are being supportive and encouraging and I do the same thing to my pregnant friends. I should enjoy it and treasure it instead of being repulsed by it and wanting to crawl into a cave until I go into labor. Part of me wants to hunker down for the week and wait it out by myself. I won't have those questions in my head constantly but then again, maybe I will but I will be the one asking them not my sweet hearted friends but my own brain is asking "how are you doing? are you ready? are the kids ready? is the house ready? is my body ready? Maybe it's better to be around other people so I have something else to think about besides what is about to come OUT of my body. I treasure my baby and I thank God He has given me another child to love, care for and nurture into an adult who could possibly change the world for the better. I'm just scared for that responsibility. I suppose God knows what he is doing. Thank you for taking the time to read my scatterbrained thoughts and if you are reading this, I appreciate you as a friend and do welcome the question "how are you doing?" I know it only means you care!

Appreciation

2010-01-26T21:13:00.001-08:00

I listened to a friend vent today and then read her blog about the same vent and it made me think, Amen Sister!! She was referring to respect. In the last few days especially, we've been struggling with Erik and his respecting his parents choices. The words "You are being so mean" have come out of his precious mouth a lot lately. At first, it made my heart strings tug and want to curl up in a corner and cry and hold him telling him, momma will make it better. Then after the 45th time of his saying this is less than a week (not really but it sure seems like it) I got upset, not at him but myself. How could I have raised such a disrespectful child. Am I doing something wrong? Am I forgetting to address a problem? Do I not see what he really needs? Now a lot of changes are going on in our house, well actually just one big change. A whole other person is about to join us, for life. I realized tonight that I've been naive in expecting no change in behavior with Erik with a new baby on the horizon. I've been so concerned with how Sarah will be affected that I didn't stop to think about Erik. Sure he's been through this before but he's older, he knows more, he understands more. He truly understands that he will be the one who has to pick up the slack when I need something picked up, put away or Sarah played with. In all of my needing and expecting him to respect me, I need to turn the tables and respect him.
Right now that is difficult to do being 9 months pregnant and a husband working 12+ hour days this week. Which brings me to my title of tonight's post, appreciation. I appreciate my husband, kids and friends but mostly I appreciate the single parents out there. To not have the support both mentally and physically is unimaginable to me. I know we deal with what we have and work with it to the best of our ability but WOW, I am not one of those people who could do this on my own and I know a lot of single parents have some kind of support but it's usually not full time and it always comes at a cost whereas a husband or wife doesn't come strings attached (usually)!
For whoever reads this, I leave you with this thought appreciate your husband/ wife, kids, friends and anyone in your life who has a positive attitude despite their struggles.

Naptime & Number 3

2009-12-01T23:43:00.000-08:00

Nap time is the best time of the day when you have little ones who take naps. It's a time of quiet, unwinding bliss. It is usually a time of getting the laundry done or dishes washed. I try to use the time of nap time or quiet time as we call it as a time to relax and do something for me. I watch TV, read a book or have a cup of tea. Today I took a nap. I was so exhausted from my little peanut growing inside me that I layed down to rest. An hour and a half later I woke up feeling rested but annoyed. I knew I would not be able to sleep tonight and now it's almost midnight and I am still awake. I figured I might as well catch up on my blog. It is still weird to me that you all read this even though I'm the same way about blogs. I have a few friends with blogs and I check them out religiously to see if they have made a new post.
Since my last post, I've been a little less freaked out about the joy coming to me in a little over 2 months. It boggles me that this pregnancy has gone by so fast but I guess I'm chasing after 2 others and have many other things on my plate. What will become of me with number 3. That is what I've been calling this one because I don't know the gender. I knew the gender of my first 2 babies before they were born. I've been told it's soooo much better this way but I'm not sure if I agree. With Erik and Sarah I had little people in me with personalities and a dream of what they would be like. I was told by a friend that I could just concentrate on the health of the baby this time and not what they will be like or how a girl/ boy will effect our family dynamics. It's funny because I never had those thoughts with Erik and Sarah but have them all the time with this one. I wonder how I will feel if a what comes out is not what I expected or desired. I honestly feel like no matter what comes out, I will be happy but there is a little inkling of "what if I'm disappointed", I ache knowing that I may feel like that. I chose not to find out the gender of the baby because of a number of reasons, Phil for one, also the excitement of not knowing (or so I thought).
I really have no idea the point to this post other than the get my feelings out to a world of unknown. When I write here, I feel like I'm getting my thoughts and feelings out in a real way but not to real people. I know real people read this but it doesn't feel as real as if I was talking to you in front of me. Don't get me wrong about this whole baby thing, I'm so excited to add another member to our family and am amazed daily by his/ her movements but and maybe it's the planner in me, I just want to know how to prepare my mind, body and house for this new member. When you bring a member of the family home, they should have a place to call home. Yes I will have an array of clothes and diapers but something just isn't the same.
Now it's officially midnight and I'm finally tired. So if you have words of wisdom to get through the next two months, I welcome them. If all your going to say is "oh you'll be fine". I already know that so thank you and I believe you! Have a blessed Christmas season and a Happy New year in case I don't get back til 2010!

90 days...OMG

2009-11-10T08:50:00.000-08:00

Today I looked to see when I posted last. I was surprised it hadn't been since Erik's 1st day of school. Wow, I guess I'm a busy mom. Nothing significant has happended since then. Unless you count Erik losing 2 teeth. He is enjoying school and has really like staying all day the few days he stayed after lunch. Sarah is quite the talker. She shocks me daily with sentences that come out of her mouth. The biggest thing that shocked me when I looked at my own blog was the baby ticker... I have 90 DAYS until I have a new baby. I thought I was freaking out but now I'm really freaking out. That is only 3 months and my world will once again be turned upside down. I don't have much else to say this post. I plan on posting something on marriage and life but that will come when I have more time. Until then, pray for me, for my world will be turned upside down again in 90 DAYS!!

Life Changes.....

2009-09-17T12:56:00.000-07:00

As I sit on my couch listening to quietness of my house, I think about so many people in my life whose houses are never quiet unless it's 10pm and everyone is sleeping. I once had a friend ask me "how do you make your kids take a nap". Well the answer is start young. Take Sarah for example, she already took a short nap today but I know she is still tired, so I put her in her crib and didn't give her an option to get out. You say "oh it's easy for one in a crib" but that is the trick, if you teach them when they are in the crib, they will listen when they are in a regular bed.

I labeled this post life changes because we are going through some biggies in our family this year. First, Erik started Kindergarten this Fall. We (and by we I mean I) wasn't sure if he was ready. He's considered young (because a lot of people start their boys at age 6) and he's immature (yes I fully admit it), but academically was on par with where he was suppose to be so we figured why not. He is enjoying Kindergarten even though he is having some emotional issues like not paying attention or not following directions but what 5 year old does. I've been stressing about it and all my friends and family tell me to relax, not to worry, he's got time. That is easy for them to say, they either have kindergateners who are ready or don't have any at all. I know they care about me and are just trying to help. I really should listen to them and I'm trying but it's hard.

The other big life change is that I'm pregnant. Most of you reading this probably already know that. I don't do well with change and now I'm going to have a 2 year old and an infant in a matter of months. What am I going to do???? Well I'm going to have a 2 year old and an infant is what! I will take each day one at a time and thankfully have a full set of friends within walking distance who are willing to drop what they are doing and help a neurotic freak like myself. How did I get so lucky to have such wonderful friends. I'm still trying to figure that out, but until I do I will just enjoy the richess of people who truely care about me. A friend asked me last night "is Sarah ready for the baby?" I didn't think she had a clue and still don't however I did get a little glimps into the future when someone else tried to sit in HER rocking chair. Oh man, she DID NOT like that, so it will be interesting to see how she reacts to all of this.

"God gives us what we can handle but I think he has me confused with someone else" ~ Mother Theresa of Calcutta

Kindergarten

2009-09-14T10:07:00.000-07:00

Ok, I know I'm a little behind but I'm still getting used to Erik being in Kingergarten. In fact, I've had so much time on my hands in the morning that I don't know what to do with myself..... KIDDING. I have been very busy and I will post about Erik's first few weeks soon. Hopefully later tonight. Now I am still recovering from our camping trip last weekend so I will post soon. I promise!

Definition of Love

2009-08-09T12:51:00.000-07:00

Today I heard a great definition of Love. It's the giving of one's self. Now I know your thinking, well duh but more than that the opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is using or taking for ones self. Today at church, our priest talked about the love of Christ and how He gave literally everything of himself for us. It made me think (which I'm sure was his intention) of what kind of love I give and what kind of love I use or take for myself. As human beings, I believe we take way more than we give. Yes, we give love our children, our husbands, our extended family and our friends but how much love to we use or take from them for ourselves. Do we delude ourselves into thinking we are truly giving our whole entire being. After all that is what God did for us, why can't we do the same. Is it because we are tired, bored, hungry, annoyed. Does it matter what are reasons are for taking love from others. We will slip many times, God knows this but all he asks is for us to love your neighbor like you love yourself. If we were to love the people in our lives first and ourselves second, we would be much better off. Yes, I know we all know this is the way to do it but like a question I posed to one of our priests the other day, HOW??? How do we give to others first.. well I would love to hear any suggestions, as for me, my daughter just woke up from her nap and we will be having lunch soon so I take the step I know and show love to my family by getting off the computer......

Accomplishing a skill...

2009-07-17T13:51:00.001-07:00

It's amazing to watch my kids grow and develop. It's even more exciting to be excited about learning something new or accomplishing something that was hard. Swimming is one of those skills that will be required to learn in our house. So Erik started swimming lessons this week. His teacher is amazing. She can get him to do things he refuses for me. Oh well, at least he's learning. He will now stick his whole face under water. He's improved so much since last year already. I can't wait to see what he is doing at the end of the 4 weeks!!! Thank you Teacher Darcy!!

Mommy monster vs. Gentle Mother

2009-07-14T21:15:00.000-07:00

As with most days of being a mom, today has been a bag full of mixed emotions and attitudes both from my children and myself. The day seemed to start off good but within a matter of hours, the mommy monster came out. Who knows what causes this personality to emerge, maybe lack of sleep, maybe all the traveling we've done, maybe I just don't know how to handle my emotions. Considering that multiple times a day, I tell Erik not to throw a fit, to relax, to calm down, to take a deep breathe..... do I take my own advice... no! And just as fast as the mommy monster came out, she left. Of course it took the funny comment from a 5 year old (not that he was trying to be funny). I had missed the turn to the swimming lessons and was irritated yet again (hence mommy monster still present) and Erik calming says while looking at his new com pas he got at Subway, "hey we are going East". Needless to say I could only laugh. He didn't care that I had missed the turn, he didn't care if we were late, he didn't care if the person in front of me was going slow, he only cared that we were going East (which we were)! Mommy monster gone and Gentle mother back in the drivers seat (literally).
The rest of the day was very relaxing and uncomplicated because the mommy monster was gone only to reappear sometime in the future unfortunately.
I started reading a book tonight called "Life on Planet Mom" it's from the mothers group I belong to, MOPS. MOPS books for me have been hit and miss. I've read 2 others, one a hit and one a miss so I thought I'll give this one a try. Within 15 minutes of starting it I felt the need to go snuggle with my children (yes they are both asleep). As I watched them squirm in my arms trying to get comfortable ( I know it's not as comfortable as their bed) I realized how much my life has changed in the last 5 years. First of all, I can't BELIEVE I have a 5 year old. It seemed like last week Phil and I were staring at Erik laying in our bed for the first time at 2 days old and now he is five! My baby girl is walking, talking and playing by herself instead of needing me every 2 seconds. (Yes, she still needs me every 5 seconds but still).
I wonder what I will be feeling when they are grown and having children of their own. Logically I know it will happen but I just can't imagine Erik making adult decisions. Heck I have a hard time that I am making them.
For all you mothers out there, I know you've all heard something similar to this one but we all need to memorize it and live it... your children are only small for a breathe, take in each one as deeply as you can and treasure it forever!

Denver Last Day

2009-06-24T17:04:00.001-07:00

Last night was amazing. If you are ever in Denver, CO go to a place called Zango's. They have the most amazing food and atmosphere. Quite expensive but well worth it. Of course, the company was great also. We decided to stay an extra day in Denver so we could hang out with Phil's sister Rebecca and her husband a little more. Today was fun as well. We got to walk around downtown Denver and see some sites. The Brown Palace is so beautiful. It is a hotel in Denver built by Molly Brown from the Titanic. It looks just like the dining area on the Titanic. We had tea and desserts with the kids today. It was fun but a little too elegant for children (in my opinion).
We are, alas, heading home tomorrow. This has been a whirlwind week but a lot of fun. Seeing younger siblings getting married and a baby joining the church was amazing. So many wonderful blessings in our life. Sometimes I forget them and have to be reminded.

Denver Trip Day ???

2009-06-21T18:42:00.000-07:00

Ok, I haven't blogged for a few days because it's been so busy. Let's see, Friday we visited New Belgium Brewing Company in Fort Collins, CO. They make our favorite beer 1554 and Fat Tire. It was neat. Small company that recycle a ton of stuff and use wind power to power the brewery. It's very small but interesting. Friday night consisted on the rehearsal dinner of Auth Chili Mac and salad with Grandma Auth's salad dressing. The two families mingled together (kinda). Saturday morning was very relaxing for me. I went to my sil's house to get ready for my other sil's wedding. We got pictures taken before the ceremony which I believe is really odd because you are not actually married in your wedding pictures but I guess that is the way most people do it these days. The rehearsal dinner was at Fr. Mike's house where it rained off and on (making the bride very happy, odd i know).
Ok, now today Sunday was the baptism of my God daughter Hannah Clair. We were more involved in the mass than I thought we would be but it was awesome. I got to hold her while she was being baptized. She was asleep when we started and promptly woke up when the Holy water was poured over her head. She didn't seem to mind.
Ok, the next couple of days will hopefully be a little more relaxing. I will probably blog more in a few days.

2009-06-18T10:20:00.000-07:00

Denver Day 3

2009-06-18T10:10:00.000-07:00

Wednesday June 17th
We traveled from Green River, UT to Denver CO. It took us 10 hours. Normally just driving should have taken about 6 hours. We stopped at Arches National Park for a few hours driving around and hiking a little. It was amazing. The rock formations are beautiful. Erik didn't like any of the hikes until the last one where he basically went rock climbing. I was a nervous Nelly watching him and Phil with Sarah on his back scaling rocks. It was a fun family experience. Then we got in the car and drove FOREVER. We had to deal with some "road construction" The reason I put it in quotes was because they were not actually doing construction just putting up cones to close a lane so we were driving about 10 mph for about 45 min. We finally got into Denver and to our rental house by 10pm. It felt good to sleep even though the kids woke up a few times in the night due to being in a strange place.

Today (Thursday) has been very relaxing so far. Today we will be starting the wedding stuff like bachlorette party and such. I am feeling a little under the weather due to lack of sleep but hopefully I will get better.
We are enjoying our trip so far... More pictures on facebook...

DENVER TRIP DAY 2

2009-06-16T19:53:00.000-07:00

Ok, my plan was to blog a little each day but it didn't happen yesterday because we were so tired. Here's an update.
MONDAY
Left WW 8:30 am
Arrived Twin Falls, Idaho 5:30pm.
Visited Phil's grandparents, headed out to his parents and ate dinner.
Stayed up waaaay to late (2 am) visiting with Phil's family and proceeded not to sleep except for 4 hours.
TUESDAY
Left Twin around 9:30 and drove through Utah for 7 hours and ended up in Green River, UT. Stayed at Best Western with hot tub and pool. We are getting the kids to bed and going back to the hot tub. We will probably sleep very well tonight. I will try to blog more tomorrow when I'm not so tired..... hopefully that will come...

Face of betrayal by Lis Wihel

2009-05-30T23:33:00.000-07:00

I love a good mystery. Especially the kind where you are totally shocked by "who done it". Face of betrayal is about a young girl's murder while on Christmas break. A group of women who call themselves the triple threat club investigate the murder of this young Senate page. 1) An FBI agent, 2) Reporter 3) Assistant district attorney. At first is started out slow but as I got to know these characters you realize how invested into their jobs they are. They want to make the world a better place. As they search for what is originally dubbed a runaway, they find clues to lead them down the path where they least expect. There are times where I couldn't put the book down because of what was going to happen next. Every chapter had another clue that lead you deeper and deeper into the minds of each women and using their specific talents, uncover the truth behind what happen to young Katie Converse. If you like mysteries, this is a must read. Every time you think you figured it out, another piece of the puzzle is revealed.

I am a part of Thomas Nelson’s Book Review Blogger program.
Check out more information @ http://brb.thomasnelson.com/

ain't no princess

2009-05-17T22:46:00.000-07:00

When I was pregnant with Sarah, I didn't like the idea of having a princess. I was very clear to everyone I wasn't going to have a prissy girl. My friends who already had girls said "ha you just wait". I didn't want clothing that said it, I didn't want frilly dresses etc..
Well that was then... this is now. I still don't want things that say princess on them but dresses are so darn cute. I like the idea of having a tomboy. Maybe because I was one. I loved dressing up and looking pretty but I was all about getting dirty and building forts in the back yard with leftover wood we found in the garage.
In the past week, we've had good weather so we've been working outside and in the garage (updating our travel trailer, THAT is for another post). On mothers day I decided to go out in the back yard and "pull a couple weeds" well I really go in to it and ended up spending 3 hours pulling weeds are making a plot for something (I still don't know yet). Phil was helping a friend of ours install underground sprinklers and he had Erik with him so Sarah and I were in the back yard. I put her in front of a pile of dirt and she played there for 2+ hours just sitting in the dirt and digging at 15 months old...that made mamma proud. Maybe she inherited the green thumb from grandma and great-grandpa since I certainly didn't.
Then... yesterday Phil had her in the garage. She walked over to a pile of sawdust and starting playing with that having a grand ol' time throwing up and having it land on her head.
All I can say is... you go girl!

For all those who don't sew....

2009-05-03T17:19:00.001-07:00

Being a stay at home mom, I want to participate in many things my own mother did when I was a child. I guess I feel since my mom did it, I should as well. Basic things like coloring, play dough, building blocks and so on are pretty easy. Baking cookies, home cooked meals seem to be easy as well. Sewing however is one of those tasks that I feel I "should" be able to do as a mom I just can't. Believe me I've tried. I don't have the patience. Now instead of working through the frustration and developing patience I decided sewing wasn't one of those things I needed to force myself to do. After all, back in the day (30+ years ago) sewing was more cost effective than it is now. With all the ___-mart stores, thrift stores and consignment stores it's less expensive to buy clothes than to make them. However beyond clothes sewing is good for a lot of other things.
That being said, I recently saw a clip from Martha Stewart.com on no-sew bags. It intriqued me because I love bags and you could never have too many bags with children. The main "ingredients" were duct tape and staples. Oh this was even more intriquing. It was so easy and so fun. It gave me the confidence to do something with fabric. I love the idea of sewing and creating. So this way I can create something useful and pretty. So if anyone would like me to create a duct tape bag for you I would be honored to create one for you. It's not cost effective because of the cost of fabric but it only requires about 1/2 yard of fabric so if you get it on sale then hey... cheap bag, pretty bag!

My latest obsession

2009-04-29T20:07:00.000-07:00

I accept that I have slight tendencies toward OCD. It's a gift and a curse. The gift aspect is that I'm very organized and am a good team worker. The curse is that when I become obsessed with something I tune out the rest of the world...my kids....my husband....my life. My lastest obsession is MOPS. I belong to a group called Mothers of Preschoolers. It's a wonderful group and I have met amazing women through this group. Next year I will be on the leadership team, which is called steering. I'm so excited. However my OCD is kickin' in. It's not even May and I've already made a schedule for what crafts we are going to do. (Yes I'm the creative coordinator).

The gift of this particular obsession is I'm learning to trust in people other than myself.

I've always been told that my "friends" are people I can turn to in times of crisis but I never really believed it. Logically if these people say they would be there in times of need, they will right? Well until recently (last 3 years I would say) I've never really trusted that virtue in the people around me. I guess it's because I've never had a good self-esteem. Growing up I never felt like I was "good enough". In retrospect what the people in my life that were making me feel like that were trying to push me and make me do my best. As a child I just never felt that because as a child you don't have that kind of maturity.

So getting back to trusting others. I'm at a place in my life that I have people I trust my friendship heart with. I believe MOPS helped me with this. Now I'm back on steering and ready to plow forward with 100% of my being. The curse however is I'm staying up until all hours of the night trying to figure out a craft to do (even though I already have them all planned out). I guess I feel that even though I have it "set in stone" I can do better! I can find a better craft, a cheaper craft, a more inpiring craft.... it's all that pushing my parents did to do my best and not accept second place (even though THAT IS GOOD ENOUGH)

Motherhood....

2009-04-15T13:39:00.000-07:00

This is a job for mommy... Both kids crying.... Erik fell and hurt himself and screamed at the top of his lungs which sent his sister into hysteria because she was so scared.

Not being Thankful!

2009-04-09T13:28:00.000-07:00

Today we had some time to kill before going out to lunch with Phil today so we went over to St. Vincents. Erik loves playing with the toys and I like looking at what people have given away wondering what kind of story there is behind why something is at St. Vincents. Today the only thing I found worth anything was a small plastic case for Erik to put art supplies in. It was only $1. We get up to the counter and I realize I don't have any cash so I'm going to put it back. The cashier was nice enough to contribute .50 to match my .50 I had in my wallet. I was amazed that this woman took money out of her own purse to give so I could come home with a measly little art case. I say thank you and head out. On our way out Erik brings out the big lip because he "didn't get a toy". Like the child doesn't have enough toys at home anyway. I have a little talk about being thankful and he soon changes his mind that the art supply case is acceptable. It got me thinking about thankfulness and how he must not know what thankfulness is, have I not shown him how to be thankful. We always tell our kids "what do you say" when they are suppose to say those magic words "thank-you" but do we teach our children what thankfulness is. I'm sure most of us think we do, but I believe the best way to teach them is to show that we are thankful for what we have in our life instead of taking everything for granted. So my point is, I AM THANKFUL.....

for my life

for my family

for my friends

for my church

for my moms groups (MOMs and MOPS)

for my health

for my country

for my freedom

for my personal effects

I may not show it but I AM THANKFUL. If you are reading this post I AM THANKFUL for you being in my life. I may not be good at showing it and please call me on it if you are feeling under appreciated. I am oblivious to so many things in my life, I may not realize someone needs me until they say "I need you", know that I need you too and whatever I can do to show my thankfulness, please let me know. I want to raise my children to be thankful for everything in their life, not just the fun stuff. I am told that if you are were not shown something (like love) by your parents, then you don't know how to do that. I slightly agree but I think it's more laziness on your part to not be a better person than your parents. We all want to make it better for our children. Our parents wanted a better life for their children and so on... so let's make it a better place. We can start by showing thankfulness. This does not mean, I believe no one shows me thankfulness, all I'm saying is I need to show my thankfulness more.

We are getting ready to celebrate the biggest sacrifice of history. Jesus dying on the cross. Let's remember what He sacrificed for us and maybe showing thankfulness won't be so hard.

So as we enter in the Easter season, let me end my saying Thank-You to all of you in my life who have made me a better person and I hope to return the favor someday by being that great friend that you've been to me. God Bless you all and Happy Easter!

No mom.... I want to go in by myself...

2009-03-11T19:54:00.000-07:00

this is what I heard out of my almost 5 year old today at pre-school. A few short months ago her begged me to walk him all the way to the door and now he is telling me to let him go. I believe God is preparing me to send him off to kindergarten next year. Last night when I couldn't sleep I felt the need to go see Erik sleeping. He was thrashing around in his bed which usually means he has to go to the bathroom. I sent him and when he came back I laid down with him for a few minutes. A memory of 5 years ago came to me. It was our first night home with Erik back in our old apartment. Phil and I were laying on the bed with Erik between us. We were so amazed by this little person that was created in my womb and now was a reality. Everyone tells you that "the days are long and the years are short". I realize I'm still in the beginning of those "years" but it's also already been a few years since that night when I was amazed at this little thing laying next to me on the bed. Now I look at him in amazement still and think what will happen in the future.
It's hard as a mom to have others judge your children. I always thought I'd be the one saying "no he needs more time or no he's not big enough for that yet" but when it comes from someone else... someone who doesn't really KNOW your child, someone who sees him a few hours a week it is almost like a drop kick into your gut. You are blown away to know that your child is not on par in some areas with other children his age or even younger. My first reaction was WHAT, you are crazy and then you start thinking that maybe they are right. I had a couple of people tell me to follow my gut. A mothers gut is an amazing thing. It tells you when your child is hurt, it tells you what to do in any situation and it never steers you wrong. Now that's not to say you may interpret that wrong because you want something that really shouldn't happen but my belief is if it's meant to happen than it will happen no matter what you do.
If you have children or grandchildren, cherish them because before you know it they will be grown and you will only have pictures and video's of them when they were at the innocence age!

Respect life...it's so fragile

2009-02-23T09:44:00.000-08:00

I really don't understand people who are pro-choice. I know many of you out there reading this may be pro-choice but I don't understand how anyone could think that a baby is not worth keeping no matter what the situation. I recently had a niece born via emergency c-section because her heart rate skyrocketed and they didn't know why. It was a very traumatic experience for her parents and the rest of the family. Now that I have seen pictures of her and as I look at my own children (Sarah who is trying to type on the computer) I can't imagine life without children. I know I've never been in a situation where I was pregnant when I didn't want to be because guess what THEY KNOW WHAT CAUSES IT and how to prevent it. Now I'm not going to go into how to prevent babies because that I do believe is your own personal choice. However, once God has planted the seed so to speak, I believe it is your responsibility to nurture and grow that seed. You chose to take the steps to have the seed, so be an adult and take care of what God has entrusted to you. This doesn't mean you have to keep and raise this child. If you are not financially, emotionally or mature enough to raise the child, trust me there are many many people out there who are. Playing God by deciding who lives and who dies is not a human choice.
Where is this coming from, who knows. It's not like I just had someone tell me they got an abortion. Maybe because I saw what my brother and sister in law went through with their new daughter. I've had discussions with pro-choice people and their logic just doesn't make sense to me. Now I say pro-choice not pro-abortion because I don't like that word. 90% of pro-choice people are not pro-abortion. The only people in the world that are pro-abortion are those who perform them or those who have them. Just because someone believes it's your choice to have an abortion doesn't mean they think it's a good thing, now that being said it also doesn't mean they respect life because if they did it would mean they would do everything in their power to prevent people from doing it.
Like I said, I don't know where this is coming from but I guess because I look and my children, my nieces and nephews and wonder how anyone could not want to respect life.

Happy Birthday Sarah

2009-02-18T21:43:00.000-08:00

February 18, 2008 started out very early. Around 3 am I woke up with contractions. I wasn't sure if they were real ones so I started timing them and sure enough they were regular, still very far apart but regular none the less. I tried to go back to sleep and it worked until around 6am. I woke my mom up (who had been here for 9 days waiting for our little lady) and told her today was the day. I wanted to labor at home, however with a 4 year old jumping on me and my dad asking "what is a contraction like?" in the middle of my contractions, when I thought my water had broken, I headed to the hospital. When I got there, I was lucky to get the best room on the floor with my own Jacuzzi tub. My water had not broken but I decided to stay because it was very peaceful. That was around 9am. By noon the doctor (on-call because mine was on vacation) came in and asked if I wanted my water broken, I said no because I wanted to go as natural as possible. By 3:30 the nurse checked me and my water still had not broken but she was coming regardless. The doc came in and asked me again, I said YES! After two pushes she was out. I got to pull her out and on to my chest. It was the most blessed moment of my life. Except for the fact that they took her way rather quickly. I was upset to say the least but then I realized she wasn't breathing so after a full minute of no noise (except me saying why isn't she crying) she made a noise. Everything was ok!

February 18, 2009-The day started out with Phil going to work at 6:30 because he had been awake since 2:30 am so decided to go to work early. I got the kids up, made them breakfast and got Erik off to preschool. On Wednesdays I walk with my friend Claire. I realized halfway through our walk it was Sarah's birthday. Shows you what kind of a mother I am. That is ok, we had a big bash for her on Valentines day with tons of family and friends. I will get pictures up on my facebook page and blog soon. My mom took the pictures and we coudn't download them off her camera so I will be bugging her daily for a cd before she heads off to Hawaii for 3 weeks.

I am starting to feel like a grownup. I have two kids, a house and a life outside my own. I am getting ready to send Erik to Kindergarten next year. It's weird to imagine what life will be like with Erik gone EVERY morning. My life seems to be flying by at mock speed. I don't know how to slow it down or even if I want to. I look at what others do with their lives and wonder how they do it and stay sain. I have friends with gardens, animals (besides their children), homeschooling, being on comitees and so many of them make everything from scratch and have fancy dinners. Also a lot of them have husbands that work through the dinner hour (I'm finding that I'm in the minority of wives with a husband that actually is at the dinner table every night).
I realize I need to count my blessings instead of my trials!
Enough for tonight! I am trying to update more often but it's hard sometimes. I read everyone's blog but don't have time for my own. Interesting....

computers and moms

2009-01-30T19:30:00.001-08:00

It amazes me how we as moms have some much time to be on the computers. Sometimes I feel like I ignore my children to be on the computer. Why is that, sanity, obsession or just plain laziness. Maybe because as moms we can multi-task. I once heard on the radio how men have to turn off the tv, tell everyone to be quiet and take a breath before answering the phone. However, women will be cooking a meal, have a baby on her hip and have a children's book on CD playing in the other room (loudly) and pick up a ringing phone without even a moment of pause. I believe computers save us from killing our children on most days or at least walking out of the house and screaming to the neighborhood. We connect with other moms and for a brief moment, we feel like we are something else other than just a mom.
If I could go one day without hearing "mommy come see this" I would be a more sain woman. Erik says this to me daily and ussually multiple times a day. When I ask him to tell me, he says "Can you just come see this" and if I don't jump up from whatever I'm doing (blogging, facebooking, emailing) and run down the hall, I'm reminded again... moooooommmm pleeeese come see this. All I can say is thank God for computers or at least blogs and facebook. Without theme, us moms wouldn't know what kind of outlet to have to release our frustrations (yes, Erik just threw a toy across the living room). All I can say is I appreciate all you in cyberspace who I can vent to and who understands my daily life.

New year, new plans, new ideas....

2009-01-23T14:08:00.000-08:00

It seems like January 1st is the day everyone wants to start over. "Oh this year I'll do such and such" or "I'm going to loose X about of pounds. Why do we need a starting date? Why can't we just do what we want to do that day, be it January 1st or April 4 or November 17? I'm one that feels like it's good to start at the beginning of the year.
I hate resolutions. Nobody every actually keeps them unless they are so ridiculously easy which means, they shouldn't be resolutions in the first place. I have goals instead and each goal has different steps. I start out slow and pick up speed as I go (just like with any race you want to win, yes I was a runner... was being the key word) Anyway, my goals this year are to feel better! No, I'm not feeling particularly bad but I want to feel better. You can always feel better no matter where you are in life. If there is no way to feel better then you are in Heaven and not on the planet Earth because like I said, you can always feel better.
So far in 2009 I am doing a pretty good job. We are taking a serious look at our finances which is hard to work on but like Phil said "We were bad and need to take a time out". Due to our inability to save and wait to do projects or buy fun toys, we are not where we want to be financially so enough real personal stuff.
Goals for 2009: Feel better... financially, spiritually, physically and mentally. How do I do that you ask, well here goes:
Financially we've put ourselves on a fairly strict budget that we are working hard to stay on. It may take a few months but that is OK, (start slow).
Spiritually: I attend a few moms groups that are christian based and I am getting more involved in my church.
Physically: Almost harder than financial goals, I have a treadmill that I will be using soon... check back on that with me in a few weeks.
Mentally: I'm going to take one step at a time and if I don't get something done in the time I thought I could, oh well. Just keep chugging away. My new motto for the year "I think I can, I think I can. So far so good.
So to you my friends and family who care enough to read my blog, please call me on this goals. Check up on me and see how I'm doing because the best way to reach my goals is to have someone bugging me about them. I really want to be bugged about them.
Thank you!

thoughts about Christmas, traveling ect...

2008-12-29T13:23:00.000-08:00

Now that Christmas is over (at least the secular holiday), everyone seems to start thinking about the next holiday. In this case Valentines day. I could probably go to the store and see a number of heart related stuff. However Christmas isn't over. In fact, Christmas day is the 1st day of the Christmas season which will last until at the minimum January 6th, Epiphany. But like everyone I'm ready for the tree to come down and the lights to be put away for another 12 months. Maybe I'm feeling this way because it's a sloppy mess outside. It was so pretty before Christmas. Granted, we were house bound because the roads were so bad but it felt nice. It was beautiful outside and we were inside listening to Christmas music and drinking hot chocolate. Now, we could be doing the same thing but it just doesn't feel the same.
I had a friend say to me that she couldn't believe I had to travel for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. I told her "well I've been doing it for 15 years so I'm used it it." However, I'm starting to think we are in for a change. I don't think my family (parents, siblings, husband and kids) are ready for the change but I'm thinking that traveling 5-7 hours in opposite directions a month apart from each other in the winter may not happen in the future. We'll see. I keep telling myself what is right for MY family is what i need to do.
As I look toward the new year, everyone looks at what they can change about themselves and I find myself doing the same thing. What do I want to change about myself, better about myself.... I'll keep those thoughts to myself since I have not concreated them in my own head yet. Just know that my goals are to live life to the fullest and not view the world as what could happen or what has happened but what is happening!! words to live by!

Being a mother....

2008-12-21T15:37:00.000-08:00

Being a mother is an amazing journey. Watching such a tiny thing develop into a person with their own personality is so neat and sometimes frustrating, but for the most part amazing. Sarah is really becoming her own person. Phil and I keep asking ourselves "Did Erik do this, or that?" and usually the answer is no or I don't remember. I know she is a different person but all kids have similarities and especially siblings. For example, both my kids are screamers but they come by that naturally. Sarah, however is much more of a "talker" than Erik ever was. He just liked to watch people. Sarah likes that as well but she will voice her opinion about whatever she happens to see, sometimes happy and sometimes mad and you never know what side is going to come out. Right now I'm watching her sitting in her rocking chair clapping her hands and watching the snow. I think she is most fascinated by the fact that she can make this chair she is sitting in, move all by herself. I would love to know what is going on inside her head. It's just another amazing thing about children.

Erik participated in our yearly church play today. He was a king who was part of the rhythm choir. I wasn't sure if he would get his lines down but in a short time of practice he got them down. Now being in front of the crowd today, I think he got a little shy because most of them came out but he spent more time playing with the crown that was suppose to be on his head but he liked looking through it and playing with a feather he found on the floor instead. I kept thinking, sing... say the line... but then I realized he's 4. I need to let him wiggle and play. It made it more entertaining for the video camera.
Watching the massive amount of snow piling up outside reminds me of my childhood. Builing snowmen, snow forts and going sledding. I'm looking foward to making memories with my children....

Winter traditions

2008-12-16T14:25:00.000-08:00

Life in Walla Walla doesn't usually mean snow at any time of the year let alone before Christmas. Last weekend we got a treat when we woke up on Saturday morning, it was snowing. It wasn't sticking quite yet but eventually it stuck and stayed. YEAH. We were going to get our Christmas tree that day so we were very excited that it was snowing because it's not fun to pick out a tree when the grass is a sloppy mess. So we bundled up the kids and heading for the hills (literaly). It took us awhile because half way there we decided we couldn't make it there and back on the gas we had so back to the pumps we went. Once we got up there we spent about 30 minutes to find the perfect tree (or at least one that would be good for our house) and heading back home. We found a place that we get to cut our own which makes it fun. Erik had a blast being pulled in the sled and Sarah tolerated being out in the wet snow as long as mom held her. (She lasted in the snow long enough to get a picture).
We didn't get the tree up that night because just getting it home and in a stand in the garage took it out of us so we took part in another new tradition. Roasting marshmellows over the fire and making smores. It's really fun to do in the winter and we used homemade marshmallows YUM! If you are a fan of marshmallows, you HAVE to make your own. It's soo easy and very very yummy!
Sunday we were able to take the kids sledding at the park where there is a great hill for children to go down (and adults). Erik went down once by himself and crashed and burned (yes, he slammed his face into the snow and got snowburned), so he refused to go by himself again and when I bribed him to go, he screamed the whole way down. Oh well, maybe next year. My boy is just not as brave as others. After an hour, Sarah went from mildly annoyed to histaria so we headed home. That afternoon/ evening we finally got the tree up and decorated. I wanted to start another tradition of stringing popcorn, well that won't happen. It takes a lot to string popcorn and enough to get around the tree would probably have taken me days of stringing popcorn so I stopped with one strand that goes half way around the tree. Smores= doable tradition, stringing popcorn= undoable tradition.
Enjoy the Christmas season and all it has to bring. Remember what we are really celebrating and it's not how much of a deal we can get, it's the birth of Christ and we should praise him for all he gives us because if he didn't give it to you, it doesn't exist!

Yes, I'm biased!

2008-12-04T12:46:00.000-08:00

Ok, I know that I'm her mom and all but you all have to admit, this is a cute girl! Over Thanksgiving Uncle Marc took this picture of Sarah and I think it's magazine quality. I would enter it into a photo contest but I didn't take it so I can't. Everyone tells me how cute she is and of course I agree but man, this is a cute picture.

Also, I am so thankful for both my children. God reminds me daily to appreciate my children. Today we (kids and I) with a friend and her kids. I thought Erik was hyper but man oh man, Erik is calm compared to her kids and it's great that they are so happy but I'm so glad Erik can calm down when asked (most of the time). I am greatful to God for showing me how wonderful my children are, even on the days they are driving me bonkers!

Being an outsider

2008-12-01T13:49:00.000-08:00

We are back from a trip to Idaho for Thanksgiving. This year it was with the Auth's. It's interesting how different people are from each other. I come from a quiet (comparitivly) family compared to the Auths. Now granted, there are 25 of them to my family of 5 so its going to be louder because of the people. However, I find it interesting how different people are and yet seem to get along very well. We had fun in Twin Falls. I think the best part was throwing a shower for my sister-in-law who is having a baby in March. The hardest part was the difference in parenting with others. We like putting our kids down for the night at an early time in the evening and they don't bother. I know this post may piss off someone but these are my thoughts. Kids thrive on routine, they thrive on discipline, they thrive on being kids and having parents. Why do some parents not want to give their children what all children need to the best of their ability. I got mocked and barrated for wanting to put my children to bed at a decent hour. Why is it when an outsider (like an in-law) makes a suggestion or a request or a thought, they are looked at like they are on drugs or speaking a different language from the rest of the people in the room. If a member of the family says it, all of a sudden it's acceptable. I have heard so many times about people getting married to someone whose family they don't like and they said something like "well I'm not marrying the family" well to those people out there, if your future spouse is close to his/her family, you ARE marrying the family. You get to be with them also and have to deal with all their different behaviors and quirks. Being an outsider you see things that even your spouse can't see or doesn't want to see. Sometimes it's nice to be the outsider because the family doesn't expect the same behavior out of you or they just write it off as you being the "in-law". However, over time you will slowly get closer and closer to the family and maybe even someday agree on something but highly unlikely because you are from a different generation and a different world. It's ok to be from different worlds, but just remember sometimes different worlds don't mix well and you have to be gentle and understanding when your worlds colide, for the sake of your spouse.

I've joined the 21st century

2008-11-18T22:26:00.001-08:00

Ok, I know this is my third post today. I don't post for a month and then do three in one day but what can I say, I should be in bed (ok, I am in bed, just not sleeping)
I thought I was part of the 21st century but I haven't been totally part of it. I have a cell phone, I email, I have a flat panel TV and a laptop. However, I had never sent or received a text message, at least not received one from a real person. However tonight my phone made a noise like a message had been received. I thought I wonder what that was (see I'm new to this cell phone world). I realized I got a text. I figured it was some ad from AT&T but I thought I would look at it anyway. It was from my bro-in-law Jon asking me about wine for Thanksgiving. First of all, I was excited I got a text and then I sent him a note back (I'm pretty sure). I felt very grown up. It's amazing how far people have come in their lives. It makes me wonder what I will be talking to my grandkids about. Will there be things that I never had that will be second nature to them? Yes there will be. Imagine what it will be like.

Thank God for TEACHERS!

2008-11-18T13:38:00.000-08:00

I picked Erik up from Preschool yesterday. The whole class comes outside and sits on the steps of the preschool and each parent goes up one at a time to get their child. When the kids came out, they were all wearing Native Amerian headbands with a Phesant feather sticking out. It was so cute. They had been doing a whole Thanksgiving unit. I had heard different bits and pieces over the last few weeks but yesterday he came home with a whole bunch of stuff he had made, a house for the pilgrims, a tepee and a canoe for the Native American's and a necklace to represent harvest. They also sent home a bunch of qustions about the first Thanksgiving and Erik knew the answers to ALL of them. I am so glad I'm paying someone else to teach him. I would not have thought what to do to teach him about that and yet he gets it from his teacher. It is so rewarding when your child learns something and understand a piece of history.

What would I be like without kids

2008-11-18T13:28:00.000-08:00

I sometimes wonder where my life would be if I didn't have kids. I ussually wonder this when my kids are driving me bonkers. I think things like I could sleep in, I could go places that are not kid friendly, (which I can't think of any places like that now). The question is, would I want to go to those places. Would I be happy not having children. There is no way to tell because you can't miss what you haven't experienced can you?
We had a playdate with a new friend today. I was a little worried about it because from the outside looking in, this fellow mom seemed to be what I was really looking for in a new friend. She lives close by, has kids the same age and seems really happy with her life. However I tend to think that about people (other moms) and then they turn out to be crazy or their kids drive me nuts. However, I was pleasently surpised. She was all those wonderful things I thought I saw and our kids got along with each other with no tears (almost). I don't really have a point but I just wonder where my life would be without kids. I can't imagine it.

"Just a mom"

2008-10-25T14:47:00.001-07:00

a couple of years ago at my parents house, we started talking about how we define ourselves. I believe it was my brother-in-law William that called me "just a mom" in front of my mom. Well needless to say my mom who was a Stay-at-home mom didn't like the term "just a mom" because moms "do it all" in her mind. They clean, cook, take care of the children and their husband all while taking care of themselves right. Well I personally have no problem telling people I'm "just a mom" because in today's society being a mom is recongnized as a BIG job.

I guess today I'm feeling rather good about being a mom because my children are actually behaving and being fun to be around. They are almost always fun to be around but I got my main living area clean so I'm able to enjoy them better. It helped that Phil took both kids to Home Depot for 2 hours so I could get the house cleaned.

My point in writing today was to tell you more about what the kids are up to. Erik is enjoying pre-school. He is a little behind (according to his teacher) so we are practicing things at home like cutting, coloring and writing letters. I am guessing by next Spring he will be about par with the rest of his class. He can't wait for Halloween. He doesn't understand the true meaning of Halloween so it is fun to listen to him talk about dressing up and going trick or treating. I got his costume out tonight to let him play with it and the look on his face was so awesome. It's like he had never seen it before.
I felt bad for him, he split his lip open this afternoon outside. Phil was washing the windows (yes, I know I'm keepin' him), anyway Erik had just said "I love outside, it's my best" which is his way of saying his favorite thing to do, well then he slipped off a rock and went face first into a ceramic planter. Luckily he is ok although he milked the situation so he could watch scooby doo.

Sarah is doing good. She is 8 months old and starting to think about crawling. We don't put her on her tummy enough because she is happier sitting up, but we are starting to lay her down more. I think in her head she understands but can't get her body to listen. She wiggles but only goes backwards. It's quite cute but she gets mad when she can't reach whatever we put in front of her. She also discovered a new friend. That is, her reflection in the window at night. She waves to her new friend and talks to her and it's amazing, her friend has a mommy that looks just like hers! I don't think she realizes the baby is her. I love watching another human being discover what most all of us take for granted.
If you have children and grandchildren please don't take them for granted. They will show you amazing things about life if you let them, no matter how young or old they are! Remember they lived a completly different life than you did. Let them teach you as much as you teach them.

We have a new house!

2008-10-24T22:11:00.000-07:00

Ok, we don't actually have a new house but we do have a new roof and a new paint job on the outside of our house. We have been putting off the roof for a few years. Partly because so many people told us to wait (because it wasn't that bad) and also because of money and not wanting to do it period. After a couple years of a leak in the laundry room and then the main bathroom, we decided to paint the house then do the roof. We started the process of painting the house in August when it was warm, because that is when you are SUPPOSE to paint a house. Well long story short, we took a break from that in the middle of September because that is when our parents were able to come help with the roof. We thought we'd be done with the painting by then but we were not even close. So before my parents and Phil's dad came we (phil and I and thankfully some friends) tore off the old roof. My parents showed up and the next day Phil's dad came. Phil unfortuantly had to work 10-12 hour days at the Dam so he wasn't able to help us except in the evenings. I didn't think we would get it done in a week (which is how long we had the help) but with 3 of us on the roof (Two dads and me) we were able to get it done about 3 hours before the rainstorm hit. It was hard work but fun. I ran the nailing gun and also helped tear off old boards.
We did have 3 people fall through the roof as we were taking off the old boards. Phil almost landed on the refrigerator. I fell in up to my waist and our 76 year old neighbor fell in up to his thigh. Yeah, I was a little worried about that one.
So, after 1 1/2 weeks after tearing off the 1st shingle, we have a brand new roof.
So does that mean we can stop and breath. Nooooo. We have to paint the house now. So after hours of Phil sanding and scraping we were ready for paint (almost). We decided to at a little texture to the house by doing what is called batton on board. We added verticle boards to the siding. It took us 4 hours to prime because of this and 1 hour to paint the entire house. (Thanks to aunt lisa for the use of your paint sprayer).
So I think I've gone on long enough. I will try to update more often. It's hard with the two kids and a house with a million and one projects.

"Free Time"

2008-09-24T12:19:00.000-07:00

What is free time? I am asking because I hear people talking about free time and it's like they are speaking greek. Erik recently started pre-school. I have 2.5 hours twice a week where he is out of the house. I don't get anything done or at least it seems like I should have a sparkling house with a break from Erik 5 hours a week going to school. Granted I have Sarah at home and she is demanding most of the time, but she sleeps while Erik is at school. Maybe it's that I'm not used to doing work without little ones screaming or asking questions. It also could be that the house is finally quiet and I just want to sit and enjoy it.
It is so nice that Erik is in school. All the things I've tried to teach him, like cutting with scissors, coloring and writing his name he is doing very well at school. I know I'm suppose to inforce it at home but like a friend said, "that is why you are paying them to do it for you".

We also just got done re-roofing our house. It was a week of chaos. Phil was working 10-12 hour days at the dam so my parents and phil's dad came to help. Along with some friends here in town. I was very proud of myself. I pulled shingles, ripped off old boards and nailed new ones back down. Phil was quite surprised. We had no major injuries except a few people (Phil, Me and a neighbor) fall through the roof. Phil is the only one that went all the way through (he landed on the refridgerator). Happily I only fell up to my waist. I did get a good gash on my leg however.
But alas it's done. We won't have to worry about leaking ceilings this winter. Now our next project (that we were in the middle of when we started the roof) is painting the house. Hopefully we will get it done before the weather turns nasty.
Now as far as free time. My living room has toys and clothes all over it. I have laundry I have to fold and Erik's shoes are sitting on the table next to me, however now that I have both kids down for quiet time at the same time, I will go veg out and watch a show because I can't do that when the kids are awake. I'm going to enjoy this thing called "free time" even though it's not really free. Free from kids but not work.
No wonder I can't get my house ever clean!

Family Reunions

2008-08-30T16:35:00.000-07:00

I was told that i don't keep my blog updated enough so I thought I would update it with what is going on this weekend (labor day). We traveled hours to visit Phil's family in Twin Falls, Id. It's always interesting to me to see Phil's aunts and uncles. The things that come out of their mouth. I guess I should be glad that people have the confiedence to say what they want to say. So far, nothing too crazy has come out of their mouth. It's been fun. It's neat to see such a big family get along with everyone.
It was fun to sit around with some of the girls and talk about babies and pregnancy, labor and delivery.
Sarah & Erik have been having fun. Because we want to visit with the adults, Erik has been watching a ton of TV. He is in hog heaven. Sarah has reveled in having everyone hold her, especially her God mother Rebecca. Well that is all for now. I may write more later.

Being a homeowner is fun....kind of

2008-08-22T14:12:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you something: Growing up, going to college and gettting married, everyone always told me owning your own home means you have an investment, means you are not throwing money down the drain. They did not tell me you also have to mow the lawn, fix broken pips and above all, rebuild the whole house after you bought it. Now I know most people don't have to do that because they buy a house that maybe needs paint or a touch up of something. "We" bought a fixer-upper. By "we" I mean, Phil bought it and I went along with the notion I may have to sweep and mop and paint a litte. I was such a naive homeowner. I didn't realize I would be ripping up carpeting, scraping floors and moving walls. I'm glad to say that 95% of the inside is done. Now we are moving outside. Currently we are working on getting our house painted. We are doing it ourselves as well, because they (the world) charge an arm and a leg for professional painting. Then hopefully we can re-roof the house before the rain comes. Don't get me wrong, I love being a homeowner. We get to have things the way we want them but obviously it's a lot of work getting there. I keep feeling like I'm a "I'll like it when..... type of homeowner. Someday soon it will be done. We've only been at it 4 years.

Swim Lessons

2008-08-02T10:17:00.000-07:00

Growing up on a lake, I learned to swim fairly young. It was always something we did, especially since our parents had the summer off. We would spend our summers either camping or at the beach. I remember my swim lessons very well. We learned at a neighbors house. I was about 4 or 5 I think. My most vivid memory is being told to jump off the dock into very deep water to learn to tread water. I was so scared because the water was deep. I wasn't going to jump but my older sister decided to help, by pushing me. I wasn't very pleased with her but it got me in and from that day on, I was a swimmer.
So it seems fair that I should reciprocate the same loving "push" to my son. I signed Erik up for swim lessons at the local country club. I know I know, you are thinking "what, the country club, how hoyty toyty, however it's not like that. It just means smaller classes. The first day was a challenge for Erik. He is a little freaked out about being in water over his head. However teacher Christa got him to do what everyone else was doing. They are learning different kinds of kicks, treading water and going under water (which Erik has done once kinda). He's had 4 days at this point and he has 4 more to go. It's amazing how much he has improved in just 4 days. I am enjoying watching him grow up. It doesn't seem like that long ago that he was just my little boy who used to cuddle with me. Now I have a pre-schooler who is taking swimming lessons and going to pre-school in a month. Yikes, where did the last 4 years go. I understand the saying "The days are long and the years are short". How true that is. Now I must go and enjoy one of those loooong days with a teething baby!

Oregon Coast Trip~ July 28th

2008-07-28T14:09:00.000-07:00

We just got back from our Oregon coast trip that I am hoping to make an annual event with some friends from The Dalles, the Loughmillers. We got there Wednesday night and left Sunday night. The first day was cold and windy. Erik did not have fun at the beach but I'm sure it had something to do with his ear infection that we found out about the day before we left. Sarah also had one. It made for a fun vacation. Actaully we had a ton of fun. The rest of the time was good to moderate weather. It wasn't too hot or too cold. We spent a lot of time on the beach and at our vacation home that we rented for the week. We also visited the Oregon Coast Aquarium. Erik especially loved the divers in the water that were cleaning the tank. Our last day was probably the best. Jenny and I enjoyed the local farmers market where we tasted organic salads, vinegars, goat cheese and breads. It was spectacular. That night for dinner we had salad, fresh mushrooms, bread with goat cheese and the cream la da cream, fresh Oregon Coast Dungeness Crab!
Our trip home was very long because we took the scenic route up the coast to Tillamook for a tour of the cheese factory only to find out they don't work on the weekends so it was a bust as far as the tour but I got some "sqeeky" cheese which took me back to my childhood when we lived across the street from the cheese factory in Sandpoint and my dad always got us "squeeky" cheese, otherwise known as curds.
it was great to go on vacation but it's also great to be home!

Half way through summer

2008-07-09T14:37:00.000-07:00

Ok, growing up I always looked at the 4th of July as the half way point in the summer. Now it still seems like that even though school is getting out later and starting sooner. I'm not worried about the school schedule yet, but I still think of it that way.
Well I will try to blog more later. My cat napper is awake yet again so I will update you on my 4th of July week later.

VBS Week

2008-06-25T13:19:00.000-07:00

Well now that's it the end of the month I can catch you up on what has been going on. This week is VBS. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's Vacation Bible School! I volunteered to be the craft leader not knowing what that would involve. Now that I'm in the of it I know for a fact I will never be a school teacher. Having between 20-35 kids in a room would literly send me to an early grave, if I had to do this everyday for 180 days straight. I have a whole new respect for preschool and elementary teachers. Preparing the crafts have been very time consuming. I have 91 kids to prepare crafts for. I have 4 different classes of crafts. Yesterday was the hardest with piggy bags. Note to all who want to work with craft foam; double sided tape DOES NOT WORK! Glue dots have been my friend this week. I've made it halfway so far and it looks like I'm going to make it. Happily I have vacation at my parents next week, so it will be chillin' on the beach for a week! Yeah. Since I noticed the weather in Walla Walla is going to be in the 90s.
Time to vamoos! More later
Oh, I also forgot that in the midst of all this week our computer broke so even though we were planning on buying a new one (in a year), we decided to buy one now and got a fun new laptop. So far, we really like it.
Later~~~
Natalie

Sleep deprivation

2008-06-02T21:20:00.000-07:00

Having children will give you the best joys of your life. I think the reason this happens is because our idea of what is great is masked by endless sleep deprivation. I absolutely with all my heart and soul love my children but I pray that they give me sleep tonight. Ironically it's the 4 year old that has been keeping me up at night not the 4 month old. Isn't that a little backwards.
Anyway, that is about all I have for tonight!

Cutest Kids

2008-05-30T20:33:00.000-07:00

Ok, I know I'm their mother and I may have a blind eye (actually I have two of them) but my kids are the cutest thing in the world. I got their pictures taken yesterday and they are sooo cute. However by the end, they were not so thrilled at having their picture taken. Fortunately, all other people see are the happy smiles in the pictures.
It's starting to get warm in Walla Walla. I'm sure soon it will be in the 90's and then the 100's which is what I don't like about Walla Walla, but the rest of the year is wonderful weather. I'm glad to be getting some sunshine.
It feels weird to have a blog. It's like I'm having a diary that everyone can read. But I guess that is ok because if they want to know what is going on in my life, they will read it, if they don't care then they won't even bother.
I've had some response from people so I am going to keep doing it. I'm new to this blog world but I think there is a way for anyone to post something on here so if you want to be an "author" all I have to do is send you an invite so let me know if you want to post anything. Just remember anyone can read it, not just us!
Well enjoy the pictures of the kids and let me know if you want to be an author! We'd love to have you join and let me know what is happening in your world.

Starting again...

2008-05-28T12:55:00.000-07:00

Well here I am again, starting a blog. I've tried so many of the new web stuff, myspace, facebook and now a blog which as you can see I started a year ago and have not done anything since. However, I am going to try to keep the blog going this time. I need something that is my own and with the cost of gas being so high, I will keep in touch this way with people... maybe!

The latest trials and tribulations in our family is we just spent a week in Portland. Phil had a training class for 4 days so we went with him. Having an extra child (last year we went also) was a bit more challenging but it was worth it. We got to go to some great restaurants and Erik loved the Portland Children's Museum. He also liked the Portland Street car and the MAX which he called "the hotel train" since it was right outside our hotel. We came home for one night and then it was off to camping in our new tent trailer (well new to us, it's a 1978) at Wallowa Lake, Oregon. It rained every day except the day we left which was blue sunny skies. Oh well, it was fun and we didn't get that wet thanks to our trailer with a heater!:)
Well now that we are back, I am attempting to tackle the mound of laundry and both kids are sleeping (or at least quiet in their room! YEAH) I should go.
Let me know what you think of the blog!
Natalie

In Portland

2007-06-03T23:59:00.000-07:00

We are in Portland for a business trip for Phil.
More later